The Moose Song

This version sourced from The Mangy Mongol songbook, page 91, AS XLIII.

Lyrics

When I was a young man I dated the girls
I fondled their bodies and played with their curls
Till my girlfriend ran off witha sailor named Bruce
I've never been treated that way by a moose.

So, it's moose, moose, I want a moose
I've never had anything quite like a moose
I've had many lovers my life has been loose,
But I've never had anything quite like a moose.

When you're tired and horny and in need of a lay,
You go to the closet and get out some hay.
You go to the window and spread it around,
For moose always come when there's hay on the ground.

I've had all manner of beasties with hair
I'd even try snakes if their fangs weren't there
I've had me three chickens, two sheep and a goose
But I've never had anything quite like a moose.

When I'm in the mood for an interesting lay
I go to the closet and pull out some hay
Then got ot the window and spread it around
Cause a moose always comes when there's hay on the ground.

Gorillas are good for a Saturday night
But lion and tigers they puts up a fight
They're not as much fun when you pump their caboose
As it is when you pump the caboose of a moose.

Stay away from the squirrels, 'cause they have sharp teeth,
They'll bite off your nuts and they'll stuff up their cheeks,
But if you can find a moose well then you can't go wrong,
And that's why we are all of us singing this song.

After combing back froma tourney, late one night,
I walked into a terrible sight.
There lay my dear lady, as loose as a goose,
Playing hide the salami with Marvin the Moose!