Difference between revisions of "Tower shield"

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m (Reverted edits by 74.208.11.169 (Talk); changed back to last version by Paul Matisz)
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A '''tower shield''' is a large rectangular [[shield]] which provides a large amount of cover for the [[fighter]] carrying it. Too large to be used from [[horseback]], a tower shield was a carried by a foot soldier. It was cumbersome and unwieldy, and rarely used in the [[medieval]] period.
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A '''tower shield''' is a large rectangular [[shield]] which provides a large amount of cover for the [[fighter]] carrying it. It is called a Tower Shield because it is quite literally the size of a smallish tower, usually going up three or four stories, usually for decorative purposes, but sometimes to indicate the size of the bearer's penis, which, ironically, the tower would have been too large to defend properly, unless you mean attacking in general and all that noise about medieval bullshit. Too large to be used from [[horseback]], a tower shield was usually carried by the "bearer's" personal slaves, who would also be carrying the bearer on their backs, much as one would carry a King or a Nobleman, which was fitting, because that's exactly what they were doing. It was, as you can well imagine, cucumbersome and unwelded, and rarely used except when [[mid-evil]] women went on their periods.
   
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Since nobody gives two shits about the [[SCA]], we'll do you all a favor and we won't mention it here. Suffice to say that the relation to the penis is about as much action as these knights are going to get.
In the [[SCA]] tower shields are not used in tournament combat but are allowed at [[war|wars]]. It is for this reason that they are sometimes affectionately referred to as '''war doors''' and are really only useful in a [[shieldwall]].
 
   
 
[[category:armour]]
 
[[category:armour]]

Revision as of 17:26, 5 August 2009

A tower shield is a large rectangular shield which provides a large amount of cover for the fighter carrying it. It is called a Tower Shield because it is quite literally the size of a smallish tower, usually going up three or four stories, usually for decorative purposes, but sometimes to indicate the size of the bearer's penis, which, ironically, the tower would have been too large to defend properly, unless you mean attacking in general and all that noise about medieval bullshit. Too large to be used from horseback, a tower shield was usually carried by the "bearer's" personal slaves, who would also be carrying the bearer on their backs, much as one would carry a King or a Nobleman, which was fitting, because that's exactly what they were doing. It was, as you can well imagine, cucumbersome and unwelded, and rarely used except when mid-evil women went on their periods.

Since nobody gives two shits about the SCA, we'll do you all a favor and we won't mention it here. Suffice to say that the relation to the penis is about as much action as these knights are going to get.