The SCA birthday song

The SCA birthday song is an old, but happy tradition. It seems to have fallen out of favour recently (mostly because no-one can remember the words).

To the tune of "Volga Boatmen".

Happy Birthday! (UNGHH!) Happy Birthday! (UNGHH!)

Death and gloom and black despair
People dying everywhere

Happy Birthday! (UNGHH!) Happy Birthday! (UNGHH!)

Now you are the age you are
Your demise cannot be far

May the candles on your cake
burn like cities in your wake

This one lesson you must learn
FIRST you pillage, THEN you burn

Burn the Castle and storm the keep
Kill the Women but SAVE THE SHEEP!

Your servants steal, your wife's untrue
Your children plot to murder you

They stole your gold, your sword, your house
They stole your sheep, but not your spouse

so you're 29 again
don't tell lies to your good friend

So another year has passed
don't look now they're gaining fast!

Black Death has just struck your town
you yourself feel quite run-down

Fear and gloom and darkness but
no one found out YOU KNOW WHAT

You're a period cook, its true
ask the beetles in the stew

You must marry very soon
baby's due the next full moon

Were I sitting in your shoes
I'd go out and sing the blues

Tho you're turning 29
age to you is like fine wine

Now you've lived another year
age to you is like stale beer

Long ago your hair turned grey
now it's falling out, they say

It's your birthday never fear
You'll be dead this time next year

We brought linen, white as cloud
Now we'll sit and sew your shroud!

Continue ad nauseam.