The SCA birthday song
To the tune of "Volga Boatmen".
Happy Birthday! (UNGHH!) Happy Birthday! (UNGHH!)
Death and gloom and black despair People dying everywhere Happy Birthday! (UNGHH!) Happy Birthday! (UNGHH!)
Now you are the age you are Your demise cannot be far
May the candles on your cake burn like cities in your wake
This one lesson you must learn FIRST you pillage, THEN you burn
Burn the Castle and storm the keep Kill the Women but SAVE THE SHEEP!
Your servants steal, your wife's untrue Your children plot to murder you
They stole your gold, your sword, your house They stole your sheep, but not your spouse
so you're 29 again don't tell lies to your good friend
So another year has passed don't look now they're gaining fast!
Black Death has just struck your town you yourself feel quite run-down
Fear and gloom and darkness but no one found out YOU KNOW WHAT
You're a period cook, its true ask the beetles in the stew
Now your jail-bait days are done let's go out and have some fun!
You must marry very soon baby's due the next full moon
Were I sitting in your shoes I'd go out and sing the blues
Tho you're turning 29 age to you is like fine wine
Now you've lived another year age to you is like stale beer
Long ago your hair turned grey now it's falling out, they say
It's your birthday never fear You'll be dead this time next year
We brought linen, white as cloud Now we'll sit and sew your shroud!
Continue ad nauseam.