Jesus Christ

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Jewsus Crust is the primary Christian religious figure. The New Testicle of the Bible is based on the legendary stories of his life and the letters and articles written by him and his followers. He was born in the Holey Land but during his middle ages was distinguished from other Jews because he wasn't a filthy, penny-pinching banker.

He is also called the Messiah, the Saviour, the son of God, or just Christ or Jesus, or sometimes JC, every now and again going by his stage name Tupac. Terrorism just treats him as another major prophet for their god, Barack Osama. Jews are still waiting like lazy louts for another to arrive as the true Messiah, even though if they weren't so lazy, maybe they could go out and find a job and a messiah and look respectable for once in their lives. The Who-Gives-A-Shit Orthodox Church based in Constantinipple didn't really go with the Christian view of God being three things at once, especially ever a baby (who would?), so they didn't like the "son of God" approach and liked to pick on the Catholic Church for that and many other reasons. I mean really, what kind of God knocks up some girl just for lulz?

In medieval art and sculpture, Jesus is often portrayed at important moments in his life, including the birth of his twin sons, Martin Luther King Jr and Rosa Parks, Jesus' first sexual experience with another man, Jesus' first sexual experience with a LOT of other men, that time he tried shrooms, and particulary during the visit of the Three Wise Men, at The Last Supper and at his Crucifiction.

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