Difference between revisions of "France"

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(Gave a dates and kings history of France. Added some sarcasm for good measure.)
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France as a medieval Kingdom occupied much the same area as classical Gaul, but having prospered under the Pax Romana its people spoke [[Latin]], and having been invaded by the Franks its blood was no longer [[Celtic]].
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France as a medieval Kingdom occupied much the same area as classical [[Gaul]], but having prospered under the Pax Romana its people spoke [[Latin]], and having been invaded by the [[Franks]] its blood was no longer [[Celtic]].
   
 
The lands had become part of a great Empire under the rule of [[Charlemagne]], but after his death in 814 the Empire was split into three parts and Charles the Bald took control of the western portion. Having had a father (Charlemange) known as Charles the Magnificent, Charles the Bald tried to improve his epithet with an an attempt to reunite the Empire. This failed. Charles the Fat had even more motivation but his attempt to reunite the Empire also failed.
 
The lands had become part of a great Empire under the rule of [[Charlemagne]], but after his death in 814 the Empire was split into three parts and Charles the Bald took control of the western portion. Having had a father (Charlemange) known as Charles the Magnificent, Charles the Bald tried to improve his epithet with an an attempt to reunite the Empire. This failed. Charles the Fat had even more motivation but his attempt to reunite the Empire also failed.
   
The Carolingian line eventually died out in the western Kingdom, which was probably just as well given the number of bald and fat people it turned out. The leading nobles then elected a new King, [[Hugh Capet]] and thus the Capetian dynasty was born. France was by now a generally feudal Kingdom, and the Capetians had to work long and hard at politics in order to build there authority. One of their most difficult land holders was [[Henry II]], King of [[England]]. As you can imagine, getting him to swear fealty was a difficult task.
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The Carolingian line eventually died out in the western Kingdom, which was probably just as well given the number of bald and fat people it turned out. The leading nobles then elected a new King, [[Hugh Capet]] and thus the Capetian dynasty was born. France was by now a generally feudal Kingdom, and the Capetians had to work long and hard at politics in order to build their authority. One of their most difficult land holders was [[Henry II]], King of [[England]]. As you can imagine, getting him to swear fealty was a difficult task.
   
 
The Capetian line was replaced by the Valois dynasty. Their hobbies included losing to the English at [[Agincourt]], not saving [[Joan of Arc]] from the English and slaughtering Protestants on St Bartholemew's day. They were replaced by the Bourbons in 1589, who were even worse and so the French gave up on monarchy all together in the late eighteenth century.
 
The Capetian line was replaced by the Valois dynasty. Their hobbies included losing to the English at [[Agincourt]], not saving [[Joan of Arc]] from the English and slaughtering Protestants on St Bartholemew's day. They were replaced by the Bourbons in 1589, who were even worse and so the French gave up on monarchy all together in the late eighteenth century.

Revision as of 11:50, 9 June 2004

France as a medieval Kingdom occupied much the same area as classical Gaul, but having prospered under the Pax Romana its people spoke Latin, and having been invaded by the Franks its blood was no longer Celtic.

The lands had become part of a great Empire under the rule of Charlemagne, but after his death in 814 the Empire was split into three parts and Charles the Bald took control of the western portion. Having had a father (Charlemange) known as Charles the Magnificent, Charles the Bald tried to improve his epithet with an an attempt to reunite the Empire. This failed. Charles the Fat had even more motivation but his attempt to reunite the Empire also failed.

The Carolingian line eventually died out in the western Kingdom, which was probably just as well given the number of bald and fat people it turned out. The leading nobles then elected a new King, Hugh Capet and thus the Capetian dynasty was born. France was by now a generally feudal Kingdom, and the Capetians had to work long and hard at politics in order to build their authority. One of their most difficult land holders was Henry II, King of England. As you can imagine, getting him to swear fealty was a difficult task.

The Capetian line was replaced by the Valois dynasty. Their hobbies included losing to the English at Agincourt, not saving Joan of Arc from the English and slaughtering Protestants on St Bartholemew's day. They were replaced by the Bourbons in 1589, who were even worse and so the French gave up on monarchy all together in the late eighteenth century.