The SCA birthday song

To the tune of "Volga Boatmen".

Happy Birthday! (UNGHH!) Happy Birthday! (UNGHH!)

Death and gloom and black despair
People dying everywhere Happy Birthday! (UNGHH!) Happy Birthday! (UNGHH!)

Now you are the age you are Your demise cannot be far

May the candles on your cake burn like cities in your wake

This one lesson you must learn FIRST you pillage, THEN you burn

Burn the Castle and storm the keep Kill the Women but SAVE THE SHEEP!

Your servants steal, your wife's untrue Your children plot to murder you

They stole your gold, your sword, your house They stole your sheep, but not your spouse

so you're 29 again don't tell lies to your good friend

So another year has passed don't look now they're gaining fast!

Black Death has just struck your town you yourself feel quite run-down

Fear and gloom and darkness but no one found out YOU KNOW WHAT

You're a period cook, its true ask the beetles in the stew

Now your jail-bait days are done let's go out and have some fun!

You must marry very soon baby's due the next full moon

Were I sitting in your shoes I'd go out and sing the blues

Tho you're turning 29 age to you is like fine wine

Now you've lived another year age to you is like stale beer

Long ago your hair turned grey now it's falling out, they say

It's your birthday never fear You'll be dead this time next year

We brought linen, white as cloud Now we'll sit and sew your shroud!

Continue ad nauseam.